Family Hunting Adventure.

So...our little family was getting antsy from staying at home due to the swine flu. When Toby got home from work this was very evident to him. He suggested the whole family go for a car ride. This sounded fine to me. I would bring my crossword puzzle book and enjoy not having to do anything for a few minutes.
We all pile in the car and off we go. We stop by the North Hiway and when I asked what we were doing there, the hunter replied,"Getting my gun, it is in the truck." I rolled my eyes, thinking that we weren't going to see anything. He asks me to load the magazine and after a little instruction I got 3 bullets in the magazine.
We start driving. We drive out to Bone Road. Anyone who knows this area knows that it is dry and brown at this moment and not what I call scenic. The hunter just keeps commenting on how "that would be a good place for deer to hide" and "isn't this beautiful". I mutter a half hearted,"Yea", and quickly try to lose myself in my crossword puzzle. Meanwhile, we are flying along this dirt road and I make some comment about staying on the road. The hunter says,"This is a beautiful road, you should see some of the roads we go on." We talk briefly about some roads that have ruts three feet deep and if you get stuck in them you are done. Then when the hunter is satisfied with that topic, I dive into the puzzle.
All of the sudden, we are in reverse and the hunter is saying,"Butts, Butts, I see two butts!" We are now parked on the wrong side of the road, turned at an angle. The hunter jumps out of the car taking his gun in one fluid motion. Looking back I should have been impressed, but at the moment I calmy remind the hunter that it is illegal to shoot from the road. He knows this and informs me he is just "scoping" them to see if there are any bucks there. No, just one doe, but he is sure there were more butts than that.
So...me being the good wifey I am say,"Go on up and see. We will wait for you." Secretly thinking.....They won't be there once he gets there and he will be back to the car in no time. The kids and I watch him dissappear up this little hill and then we can't see him. We break open the snack bag and pass fruit roll-ups around and share a pop. The minutes go by and no dad. We have to move Cinnamon (our Surburban) because as other hunters are leaving we are getting stares that aren't on the kind side as the come right up to our front bumper and slowly go around. Cinnamon is moved and after assuring the kids that the hunter could still find us, we settle into our snacking routine.
It is getting dark (15 minutes later) and we see the hunter walking toward us, tearing grass apart. As I start to remark that the hunter must not have got anything, the protests begin. Julie informs me that she thinks he has it in his backpack. (he has no backpack) Gabe informs me that some deer are so light that the hunter could carry it on his back and we wouldn't even know it. To which I snidely remark to myself,"Sure, the invisible kind."
The hunter is now here and the story begins...."I got up there and I could hear them racing me to the top of the hill. So I started running. Then, there they were. A doe, a two point buck and a huge 4 point buck. This was a big buck, a gorgeous animal..."At this point I interrupt and ask why he never calls me gorgeous. The hunter brushes over this and continues...."If you go online and type in huge four point buck then you will see that buck. It was huge. Anyway, it turns at me broad side and looks at me. I don't even stop to take a breath I just shoot...twice. I miss both times. I could have sworn I hit it with one of them, but he just looked at me and ran off. Man, that was a huge animal. If I would have gotten that I would have mounted that. That would have been sweet to have gotten that and had it be my first buck"...The would haves continue the whole way home.
After looking at huge four point bucks online for 15 minutes. I was finally allowed to drop into bed. Plans have already been made to go find that buck in the morning. Luckily the hunters family is not part of the plan. We will stay at home and have a yummy warm breakfast and await on the news from the hunter.